| | Neverending Love |  |
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xbabi_gurlx
MIDNIGHT BLUE
Number of posts : 6
Age : 32
Name : Jay-Ja
Location : Where I'm from its all real fine.
Registration date : 2008-07-01
 |  Subject: Re: Neverending Love  Sat Jul 19, 2008 9:29 pm | |
| Okay, i"ll tell ha that. I culd kare less bout ha poemz. Oh and I like theze forum boards betta than tha otherz. The theme wuz jus off in tha last 1. | |
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Krosfyah
340 MASSIVE
Number of posts : 42
Age : 35
Name : Deontaye
Location : de V.I
Bio : Im Da Freshes Extra-Terrestrial You Ever Seen In Person
Registration date : 2008-06-25
| | Subject: Re: Neverending Love Wed Jul 16, 2008 2:59 pm | |
| well if i was the guy id laugh in her face she writes like 4 year old. her metaphors and similes suck | |
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xbabi_gurlx
MIDNIGHT BLUE
Number of posts : 6
Age : 32
Name : Jay-Ja
Location : Where I'm from its all real fine.
Registration date : 2008-07-01
| | Subject: Re: Neverending Love Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:27 pm | |
| I tried 2 tell her, but she says that its her feelings. | |
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Krosfyah
340 MASSIVE
Number of posts : 42
Age : 35
Name : Deontaye
Location : de V.I
Bio : Im Da Freshes Extra-Terrestrial You Ever Seen In Person
Registration date : 2008-06-25
| | Subject: Re: Neverending Love Tue Jul 15, 2008 3:48 pm | |
| Its sad how yall dont know how to take Criticism. and im not dissing nobody im just calling it like it is. its really hard to read a poem when there is no rhythmic structure she changes the beat constantly. | |
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xbabi_gurlx
MIDNIGHT BLUE
Number of posts : 6
Age : 32
Name : Jay-Ja
Location : Where I'm from its all real fine.
Registration date : 2008-07-01
| | Subject: Re: Neverending Love Tue Jul 15, 2008 3:11 pm | |
| She say dat she aint frontin. But u don't hav to go round dissin her feelinz for this guy. Yeah u do got madd skills for poetry and all, no lie. Do u see us goin round haten other ppls wanna be poetry? but i ain't guna get into dis mess witchu again so ima drop it here. | |
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Krosfyah
340 MASSIVE
Number of posts : 42
Age : 35
Name : Deontaye
Location : de V.I
Bio : Im Da Freshes Extra-Terrestrial You Ever Seen In Person
Registration date : 2008-06-25
| | Subject: Re: Neverending Love Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:02 pm | |
| well tell her to get on, she can read it for her self | |
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xbabi_gurlx
MIDNIGHT BLUE
Number of posts : 6
Age : 32
Name : Jay-Ja
Location : Where I'm from its all real fine.
Registration date : 2008-07-01
| | Subject: Re: Neverending Love Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:42 pm | |
| Shoot I don't care. 1 of mah friends jus told me to write it so i did. I jus thru sumtin 2gether. She da one luvin, not me, so u kan tell her that stuf. | |
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Krosfyah
340 MASSIVE
Number of posts : 42
Age : 35
Name : Deontaye
Location : de V.I
Bio : Im Da Freshes Extra-Terrestrial You Ever Seen In Person
Registration date : 2008-06-25
| | Subject: Re: Neverending Love Mon Jul 14, 2008 12:17 am | |
| that was whack it lacked feeling, i didnt feel the love in it; it felt forced. Oh and also the structure and beat were off | |
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xbabi_gurlx
MIDNIGHT BLUE
Number of posts : 6
Age : 32
Name : Jay-Ja
Location : Where I'm from its all real fine.
Registration date : 2008-07-01
| | Subject: Neverending Love Thu Jul 10, 2008 3:12 pm | |
| Ok, my friend told me to write this cause she wanted this poem for this guy that she relly super likes and all.
It ain't the best ever but...
Neverending Love
You're my sunshine in the dark
My streetlight in the park
The lovely way you said my name
haunts my thoughs and drives me insane
I feel a pain in my chest
Loneliness
The unwanted guest
You made me smile through tears
So for you I'd wait some years
You made me feel like no other can
I don't want another man
You're the only one I need
My love for you wont recede
I'll always hope that I'll be more
Than a girl knockin' at your door
But until then I'll be your friend
Jus know my comanionship never will end...
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